We Need To Talk About Life Fright

We Need To Talk About Life Fright

Mar 07

Life Fright sounds funny when you say it in an Australian accent, that’s why I made it up. But Life Fright actually refers to a real condition, known in internet parlance as Achievemephobia.   So what is Life Fright? According to my experience, Life Fright means a conscious desire for success that is undermined by a subconscious drive to self-sabotage. Life Fright is dark, it is pernicious...

Epiphany in Pink

Epiphany in Pink

Feb 18

Last Saturday my friend invited me to a ’House of Honey’ rave in Shepherds Bush. The theme was pink so I decided to come as Penelope Pitstop. As we wandered down the Uxbridge Road people gave me funny looks. ”Do I look like a man?” I asked my friend. ”Course not,” she said. ”They just don’t have Penelope Pitstop in Mogadishu.” Before the party, we went to a swanky bar and quaffed espresso...

My Botox hell

My Botox hell

Feb 12

Sydney is a blur of yachts, perfect boobs and wealthy dentists all having a whale of a time. But ageing is definitely not kosher. As I discovered last time I was in Sydney when women at parties investigated my lips, jawline, forehead and behind my ears at the speed of a dragonfly. Now, years later, I consider my crow’s feet, worry lines and softening jawline and wonder whether I dare...

Hot people

Hot people

Dec 18

I know perfectly well that Bikram yoga is weird because I heard its Rolex n’ G string-clad founder say on Youtube that one drop of his sperm is worth a million dollars. Plus I’ve spoken to a lady in my gym whose nose was broken by a foot being thrust in her face to ‘What a Feeling’. But that didn’t stop me (having just that morning studied my body from all angles in the strip-lit...

Man marinade

Man marinade

Sep 17

Cindy said “You’ve been gloomy lately, come to Ecstatic Dance in Bristol”. “OK” I said. But when Cat Weazel opened the door of the venue with “Welcome pilgrims! Check your boundaries at the door,” I wish I’d done what I’d set out to do – suck Laughing Cow cheese squares through my teeth whilst watching ’10 Most Mysterious Sea Monster Carcasses Ever Found’ on...